First step…

Change your inner dialog! Their bad behavior belongs to them! It’s THIER bad behavior! It has nothing to do with your actions. The nicer you are the meaner they get! The more you try to state your case, the meaner they get! Stop trying to take the blame for something that you can’t control! Change the dialog from: Why doesn’t he love me? Doesn’t he realize how lucky we are? Why doesn’t she put her family first? Why doesn’t she care? Why won’t they at least take care of themselves? To: This is thier bad behavior and they are responsible for it and changing it. It has nothing to do with me.