Author: CatKeener

First step…

Change your inner dialog! Their bad behavior belongs to them! It’s THIER bad behavior! It has nothing to do with your actions. The nicer you are the meaner they get! The more you try to state your case, the meaner they get! Stop trying to take the blame for something that you can’t control! Change the dialog from: Why doesn’t he love me? Doesn’t he realize how lucky we are? Why doesn’t she put her family first? Why doesn’t she care? Why won’t they at least take care of themselves? To: This is thier bad behavior and they are responsible for it and changing it. It has nothing to do with me.

Your people

The ones who love you… they understand a little, but they will never understand the emotional rollercoaster of living with an abuser or addict. It is a huge process to get ready to make a bold move when you know that your actions could end or begin the end to the marriage or relationship. If this person is a spouse and you have a family, it is even more difficult. Because your people may be advising you to leave and destroy your family (as you know it), and it’s just not that easy! As a matter-of-fact “it’s really not all that bad … I’ll just try harder”.Does this sound familiar? Are you tired of setting the reset button? Do you feel caught between a rock and a very hard place? There are steps you can take towards a resolution or a change. You can take as many or as few of the steps as you want. You can go as slowly as you want. It may lead to divorce or just more personal boundaries. These steps are designed to change your thinking and free up your mind so you can develop YOUR roadmap towards change and relief from an abusive relationship. Please note that if you are in physical danger or your children are in physical danger, you have no choice other than to flee the situation. Get out and find a shelter, family, or friend.